It’s taken me awhile to write this one. Perhaps it’s because I suddenly have very little extra time or simply because it’s been hard to come to terms that this fairy tale of a year is now up. If you are new around here, my husband Benjamin, quit his job in August 2019. We weren’t quite sure what path God was taking us on, but we knew it was a journey we were supposed to go on and so we sat in the backseat and just let God take control of the steering wheel. It was a year full of ups and downs. Unexpected surprises and new beginnings. And, now, here we are in a new season.

When Benjamin quit his job, we only felt confident in that we were doing what we were supposed to be doing. The plan was to let Benjamin relax for a month or so and decompress from a stressful few years and then he would spread wings and start a business or something. And there were hopes that just maybe a family YouTube channel and my IG account would take off and bring in a decent income. Just as I started to gain some momentum and direction, I found out I was pregnant. Definitely not part of the plan.

But we were overjoyed! A little shocked, but ecstatic at the same time. And then Benjamin dealt with some major foot issues. Basically, a bone had slipped out of place and it took months to figure it out what was going on. He was bedridden for weeks. Nothing made sense. This wasn’t the way we had planned things out.

Benjamin took over homeschooling and I tried to devote my day in our bedroom, working on blogs or spending hours on Instagram. But as I sat in this exact chair, it didn’t feel right to listen to my family on the other side of the wall and not be apart of their day. Eleanor would come in the room and ask why I was always on my phone or computer. It didn’t feel quite right, but all of our income came through outlets that I was in charge of. Not to mention, I realized something about myself…I don’t like being a salesperson. I don’t like feeling like I “have” to make money.